Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Dick very happy bro
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize