The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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