Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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