We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
