Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
