The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
