my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
