Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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