You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
