I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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