Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Everyone says I win the strip club
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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