Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
