My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
