Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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