The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
