meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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