I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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