he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
