ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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