He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Randomize
