I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
