Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
