Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
