Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
