just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
