$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
my poor anus
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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