NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
