I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
