come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
