3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
