i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
