Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
You may now shotgun with the bride
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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