if you like me you must not know who I am
What a fucking waste of an outfit
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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