I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Randomize
