she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
