its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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