tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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