this beer tastes like vomit already
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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