I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
