I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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