Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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