Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize