Where did you get a picture of my penis
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
