Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
