Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize