Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
