I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
send nudes
from the living room?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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