That's when you crack a 10am beer
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
