youre lurking in front of me
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
