He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
