what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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