omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
