Betty ford says i'm here all night
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
