who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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