can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
