Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
