We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
