I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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