hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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