does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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