I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
