Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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