im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
