I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
