In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
