He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
