just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
from now on my penis is your penis
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
