Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
