My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize