Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
