I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
