Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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